i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
