You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
