I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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