But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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