Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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