you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
