I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
