ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
How does one acquire holy water?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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