Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
