i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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