i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize