U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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