ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So here I am, sexting at work.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
