Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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