Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I wish you could order shots online.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize