This girl is more easily done than said...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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