Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize