I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
