What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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