Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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