Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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