i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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