"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
