Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
They took my balls.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Randomize
