The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
