Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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