I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
