it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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