Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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