Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
