Cold hands, warm shart.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
