oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
