I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
