No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
