If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
