I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
it hurts more in the daytime
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
