i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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