I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Be still, my beating vagina.
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dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize