Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
