the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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