Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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