He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize