What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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