I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Everyone says I win the strip club
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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