My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
