I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
