I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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