Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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