Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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