Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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