This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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