Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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