Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
