Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
