Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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