They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
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totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
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Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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